Most of us know what we don’t know. We’re aware of the fact that some information about the universe escapes us. We’re fully aware that we don’t know which countries border Tajikistan. We know we aren’t sure how to build a television. And we’re certain we don’t know much about modern rutabaga farming.
But, what are we unaware of that we don’t know we’re not aware of? 
A recent article in the NY Times covered the story (among other things) of a not-so-bright bank robber who covered his face in lemon juice, believing that it would disguise him from the security cameras.
The surveillance tapes were key to his arrest. There he is with a gun, standing in front of a teller demanding money. Yet, when arrested, Wheeler was completely disbelieving. “But I wore the juice,” he said.
It begs the question for us in leadership and in ministry, What do we not know that we don’t know? And, how will our blind spots be made known to us? Evidently, the “juiced” bank robber had to make a few insanely stupid choices based on erroneous camouflaging information that resulted in his arrest [read "crisis"]. I’m not sure (then again, how would I know?) I’m all that different.
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Incidentally, Tajikistan is bordered by Afghanistan to the south, Uzbekistan to the west, Kyrgyzstan to the north, China to the east. Tajikistan also lies adjacent to Pakistan. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tajikistan.
Our ministry is on the cusp of making some changes. Because people naturally resist change, things tend to get confusing and troubling in times like these. People are nervous. People really wonder how change will change them.
So, what doesn’t change (not in the overarching God-is-God sense)?
1) WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO…
Answers range from: “because I’m called” to “because god loves, so I ought to love”.
2) (Broadly) WHAT WE DO…
We love students. We love Jesus. We want to play a part in connecting students with Jesus.
What DOES change is the “how” (the programs).
I am finding that people struggle most often when they confuse the programs with the bigger pictures of why and what. I’ve never had a parent argue with me about my intention for their son/daughter. Nor, have they argued with me about connecting people with Jesus. They only get frustrated at HOW.
But, how’s come and go.
We’ll change some programs and some meeting times… and it’s likely that some parents, some students, some volunteers, and a few outsiders may accuse me of undermining the supremacy of Christ because our regular small group meeting time got altered.
I’ll try to remember that God called me to connect people to himself and each to each other…
I realized recently, upon visiting a few churches, that there is an undeniable and unspoken code to which all youth pastors are bound when visiting other churches. For those of us looking to get new ideas and learn stuff from people smarter than us here’s the code:
1) Never use the phrase: “Can I pick your brain?” ever.
Maybe it’s just an overused youth ministry idea-swapping phrase. Maybe it’s passe. Maybe the whole notion of brain picking feels eerily similar to other things that are picked (i.e.: scabs, noses, ears, ingrown hairs). Better to avoid it all together.
2) Assume that you are an imposition.
You’re probably likable. But, everyone, it turns out is really busy. I found that by asking how we might be able to minimize our impact on the ministry around us, people were willing to give us far more than we asked.
3) You’re awkward in room of students who don’t know you.
You may have a tattoo (I don’t. Jared, who joined me on the trip, does. My wife does too). You may rock the latest in hipster fashion. You may prefer V-Necks to crew necks and euro-style carryall’s over backpacks… But, you’re still an adult and, in most settings, being aware of the fact that students are suspicious of uninvited adults is probably something you ought to realize.
4) Respect the sacredness of their stuff
Everyone has their way and their things they hold dear. Some ministries held a program really sacred (asking to join it seemed a little like a violation of personal space). Others saw a training manual or a curriculum as a part of the inner sanctum of their youth ministry. Showing a modicum of respect in these things seemed to get us a lot of credibility.
5) Ask about them (not just the programs)
Youthworkers everywhere are in a similiar boat. Taking a moment to get to know the people we met with somehow made the world a little less complicated. In the instances where the other ministries didn’t have time to “be buddies”, at least an acknowledgment of that fact seemed to be appreciated.
6) Assume a learning posture
They don’t have all the answers. Their context is different. But, everyone can learn something from everyone else. Try to avoid talking about how your own program is superior to the one you’re visiting. Simply take it in. Learn it. Embrace it. Remember, on a visit, you’re hoping to gain something from them.
7) You can’t see the whole picture in one visit.
Churches have their own culture, their own schedule, and their own “vibe”. You can ask about programs, staff, and vision. But, one meeting is really enough to get just an impression.
8) Don’t lead with: “How many students do you have?”
Everyone wants to know it. But, it makes you seem shallow if you lead with it. If you can find it out without asking (by your superior powers of intuition, counting seats, multiplying the number of small group leaders by the average small group size, or asking someone not on the youth ministry team), all the better. This isn’t the most important question. It’s someone else’s metric, not yours. 100 people could be awesome if the youth ministry used to be 3. 100 could be a disaster if the youth ministry used to be 3000. And remember, numbers are AN INDICATOR not a GOAL.
I’m sure there’s more. I probably should’ve stopped at 7 (the way Jesus would’ve wanted it). But, I thought of 8. If you have 2 more to make an even 10, offer them up. Remember, KNOW THE CODE on your next visit.
Thanks Mr. T, you captured what every child wants to say to his or her mom, but fails to find the words. Miraculously, T, you did it.
Christianity Today featured an article by Scot McKnight entitled, THE JESUS WE’LL NEVER KNOW. The article is cool, but what really struck me was the introduction, which may have some interesting implications for how we talk about and teach about Jesus. Here’s what it says:
“On the opening day of my class on Jesus of Nazareth, I give a standardized psychological test divided into two parts. The results are nothing short of astounding.
The first part is about Jesus. It asks students to imagine Jesus’ personality, with questions such as, “Does he prefer to go his own way rather than act by the rules?” and “Is he a worrier?” The second part asks the same questions of the students, but instead of “Is he a worrier?” it asks, “Are you a worrier?” The test is not about right or wrong answers, nor is it designed to help students understand Jesus. Instead, if given to enough people, the test will reveal that we all think Jesus is like us. Introverts think Jesus is introverted, for example, and, on the basis of the same questions, extroverts think Jesus is extroverted.
Spiritual formation experts would love to hear that students in my Jesus class are becoming like Jesus, but the test actually reveals the reverse: Students are fashioning Jesus to be more like themselves. If the test were given to a random sample of adults, the results would be measurably similar. To one degree or another, we all conform Jesus to our own image.”
He plays drums.
He’s six.
I’m proud of him.
That’s me at the end of the video, yelling, “Yeah buddy!” like that obnoxious superfan you hope you never have to tolerate at a sporting event.
This is a video I put together with a few of my co-workers to explain the term “missional” to our church. This video certainly isn’t a perfect rendering of the term, it’s just something to get some conversation going. Mariners Church hosted a conference in which Alan Hirsch (writer at the forefront of the missional church) spoke. Alan saw the video, tweeted it and posted it on his facebook. Then it started to get going — definitely modest by youtube standards. But, there have been a few requests for the video in hi-res form and other requests for more like it. So, I’ve decided to try and oblige both requests. Here’s the video. More to come on SAYINGITSIMPLY.NET. Follow us on twitter too @sayingitsimply.
This was my first favorite song.
And now, we’ll open our Valentine’s Day weekend with: OWNER OF A LONELY HEART, by Yes.
I don’t know if it’s “epiphanal”, but it’s something.
I realized in a recent conversation about the-way-things-work in our high school ministry, that we had been spending a considerable amount of energy and time formulating ways to communicate to the students in our community WHAT WE ARE NOT…
…boring
…irrelevant
…stale
… (despite all of our unsuccessful best efforts) uncool
We had slowly and inadvertantly stopped talking about the beauty of the church.
So, in a recent staff meeting, I had our team start by talking about why the church was beautiful. Why is it good? How is it the hope of the world? What is good about the church for a high school student living in South Orange County? Then we read this together…
It’s a place of welcome and laughter, of healing and hope, of friends and family and justice and new life. It’s where the homeless drop in for a bowl of soup and the elderly stop by for a chat. It’s where one group is working to help drug addicts and another is campaigning for global justice. It’s where you’ll find people learning to pray, coming to faith, struggling with temptation, finding new purpose, and getting in touch with a new power to carry that purpose out. It’s where people bring their own small faith and discover, in getting together with others to worship the one true God, that the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts.
- NT Wright, Simply Christian
What does that story look like? That’s the one I want to tell. That’s the one I want to communicate to our students and through our students.
Today, my team read THE_MYTH_OF_THE_TEEN_BRAIN, an article by Harvard phD, Robert Epstein, who says the recent research on the immature teen brain and its necessary causal impact on behavior is, well, flat wrong.
He suggests that adolescent acting out is a function of societal and cultural influences and that the differences in brain anatomy between teen and adult brains is similarly the result of a society that “infantilizes” teenagers. His principle argument is that if the teen-brain phenomenon that has gained so much ground in the past few years in the US was truly a determining factor in teen “acting out”, then it would be consistent with teenagers everywhere, in every people group in the world.
It isn’t.
Only when western education and media make their appearance in pre-industrial societies (who may not even have a word for the period between childhood and adulthood) do teenagers begin acting out. He says, teen brains are better equipped to handle new information than most adult brains and that as a culture and society, we cripple most teens by limiting their freedom and potential to become adults.
Lastly, he says, when teens are isolated into peer groups/peer influence from the rest of society they shape themselves. In other words, teens in pre-industrial societies aren’t learning how to be independent from adults, they’re learning how to BECOME ADULTS by being around them.
Big implications (if he’s right) for youth ministry everywhere.
